Moms. They're constantly there for you, at least they should be. I had the wonderful opportunity, as not everyone does, to know at least one parent's love. She grew up in a tumultuous childhood environment, as well. She spent years, more than a decade, married to my father, trying to do right and prevent a divorce from happening. During the divorce, she found her strength. She realized she did deserve better, a lot better. I couldn't be any more proud of her. She's now married to my stepfather; a kind, gentle, quiet soul. She is the reason, and my role model, for how I am today.
When I was younger, I was angry. Extremely angry; at dad, at mom, at the world. She took that anger, every bit of it. Sure, I definitely got in trouble for some shit, but she let me know that it was safe for me to express myself in our home. We'd have "mad parties" and go on nice trips to a little mountain village. We had Christmas there, and I wasn't Santa!
Yeah, we lived cheap. Coupons, thrift stores etc. But, seriously, what can't you find at Goodwill?! But, we lived happy there. I was a kid. I was watching our mom raise us with compassion, kindness, tenderness and more. That's how I'll raise my own kids someday.
Every nightmare I had, every outburst of anger I had; she was there. She still is, though the outbursts of anger are pretty much gone. Anytime I need a friend to talk to, anytime I need an ear to listen. Yeah, we've had our fights and regrets, but they were always followed with apologies and understanding.
I wasn't an easy kid to raise. Not many parents have to go through what momma did. It was worse, because she felt it her fault for staying married to dad for as long as she did. There was no other option. I look back and don't regret how she did things. If I was in her position, it probably would've played out the same.
The moral of this post is kind of loaded. It's that, no matter how alone you feel, no matter how dark things get for you, someone is always in your corner. Someone is always there to hear you. Someone is always there to comfort you. It doesn't have to be a parent; I understand some people don't have what I had. If you're reading this blog right now and questioning who that person is, it's me. I'm here. I can be your someone. I can hear you.
Love, Aylin
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support: www.suicide.org
Lifeline Crisis Chat: https://www.contact-usa.org/chat.html
Crisis Text Line: Text REASON to 741741 (free, confidential and 24/7)
Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
Family Violence Helpline: 1-800-996-6228
Planned Parenthood Hotline: 1-800-230-PLAN (7526)
National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependency: 1-800-622-2255
The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678. Standard text messaging rates apply. Available 24/7/365. (Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning—LGBTQ—young people under 25.)
Veterans Crisis Line: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net
(The above resources are obtained from https://www.psycom.net/get-help-mental-health )
I loved this post! Brought tears to my eyes! Through my own struggles and isolation, I found that what you said is really true: " no matter how alone you feel, no matter how dark things get for you, someone is always in your corner. Someone is always there to hear you. Someone is always there to comfort you". For me, my dad was mentally absent most of my life, as was my momma, due to profound depression, and my siblings were emotionally detached. Due to abuse in our home, we were never taught to truly connect with anyone. We learned real feelings were unsafe. So I felt lost and alone many times in my life. Despite all this,…