Hey, guys. Today, I thought I'd share a piece of writing I did awhile ago. One of the biggest things that has helped me deal with anxiety, and other things, has been laughter. This piece I wrote kind of helps explain that. I lost my uncle five years ago and this piece was extremely difficult to write, especially because I'd written it so close after his passing. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy.
Laughter is The Best Medicine
It was Labor Day of 2015; my cell phone rang at work and I knew he was gone. It took me twenty one years to learn the most important lesson of my life thus far; laugh. My uncle was fifty nine years old when he passed. He was the most important person in my life. The day he died, I realized what he wanted to pass on to me. Laughter is truly the best medicine. That sounds very cliché, but he taught me that it is indeed the truth, at least in my life. Laughter heals my emotional wounds, it feeds my soul and it comforts my pain and grieving.
Laughter heals. My childhood was void of most 'normal' childhood experiences and filled with experiences no child should have to encounter. My father was present, but never earned his title. My uncle was the most paternal figure in my life. On one specific occasion, I was having a terrible time dealing with things at my dad's house. My mom brought my little brother and me to our uncle's house for a visit, not quite sure the occasion. He immediately started messing with us. He "kept an alligator” in his basement, and he told us he'd feed us to him. He’d also joke around about eating bacon in front of his pig, Junior, who was actually really opposed to the alligator. I forgot about everything going on with dad and just existed in that moment with Uncle Tim. We always thought he was just our "crazy" uncle. It didn't occur to me until after he was gone that he was teaching us to use laughter to heal our emotional wounds. Laughter heals.
Laughter feeds. I struggled a lot up until this point in my life. I ended up in the hospital when I was sixteen for self-injury, present for quite a few years. I don't remember my uncle ever talking to me about what happened to me or what I did to myself. The next time I saw him, he engaged in playful banter and joking back and forth with me. We joked again about eating bacon in front of the pig, tossing me into the basement with the alligator, and the mosquito repellent monster we encountered whenever we went camping with him. The more I was around him, the more I picked up on his joyful side. I started acting the same way with my friends at school and at work. I became happier; I started radiating happiness most everywhere I went. My work and school friends began noticing huge changes in me. My soul was changing; being fed. Laughter feeds.
Laughter comforts. August-September of 2015; he was slipping away. Uncle Tim was diagnosed with cancer about two years ago. I visited him towards the end of August and a few more times between then and September 7th. The hospital told us they found out the cancer spread everywhere, including the brain and liver. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified; every day that I spent with him was filled with mixed emotions. I cried a lot. Oddly, he laughed a lot. Not at me; he comforted me when I was crying. He was laughing because that's how he dealt with pain and loss. I was astonished. Shouldn't it have been the other way around; him being terrified? In my whole life, I have never seen him scared. I layed on his bed next to him for hours, trying to figure out why he was leaving me. He would wake up every few minutes and crack some stupid joke or make a hilarious comment on how he was leaving his “alligator” to me and my brother. His daughter wanted him to be at her wedding, so she decided to get married the Friday before he passed. The pastor asked Uncle Tim who was giving his daughter to her husband. He paused for a few minutes and replied, "he hasn't even paid me yet, so I'm not sure I can." The whole room lit up with laughter; the room that had been filled with sadness and grief for a month. Laughter comforts.
In my twenty one years of life, I have never seen my uncle upset, sad or sick, minus the cancer. He was always a "half-full” kind of guy. I was always greeted with a "Hey, kid, staying out of trouble?" and I was always sent off with “Bye, bye, baby. Stay out of trouble.” I remember he never missed days of work until he started getting sick. He never complained, never showed anger, never showed a negative outlook on things. He gave me the most important things to get me through my life; laughter and love. Laughter heals, laughter feeds and laughter comforts. The same can be said for love. My entire life is changed because of this one man.
I hope you guys enjoyed this. Laughter has helped me through so many things. Laughter, humor and staying positive. Much love everyone.
Stay safe and happy!
Love, Aylin
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