I don't know if I want to drive today. What if I get into an accident? I have all my emergency contacts written down, but what if everything is too destroyed to read them? How will people know what happened to me? How will they identify me if everything in the car is destroyed? Oh gosh, what if I'm late to work? I left extra early, but what about traffic? It's rush hour. I miss the cats already. Dammit, I forgot to say goodbye to them. Uh, did I remember to feed them? I should text him to see if he can check. I can't text him now, I"m driving. What if I get into an accident? I don't know if I want to drive today.
Did I remember to pack everything I needed for work today? I think I forgot my headphones. Did I take my medicine? My headphones were right next to my medicine. I think I forgot them. Ugh. Let me check my backpack. Wait. I can't. I'm driving, I might get into an accident. What if I do get into an accident? I have all my emergency contacts written down, but what if everything is too destroyed to read them? Did I remember to pack everything I needed for work today?
One, two, three pumps of soap. One, two, three, four paper towels. Back to prepping for tomorrow. Ugh. My writing isn't straight. Redo my schedule for tomorrow. Shit. It's past two and I still haven't emailed her schedules. My words aren't straight again. I hate how I sound on these video schedules. I have to wash my hands. One, two, three pumps of soap.
I feel feverish. My neck feels swollen. My head hurts. It must be cancer. I think I'm dying. What if I die in my sleep? What if I die? I have to check my temperature. Maybe I have a fever. Let me google my symptoms. Ugh. Google says it could be cancer. I was right. It's cancer. I want kids. I want to get married. Cancer will end all of that. What if I can't work anymore? I need to work. I love my job. What if I die? I feel feverish.
According to WebMD, most cases of OCD fall into one of these four categories:
Checking, such as locks, alarm systems, ovens, or light switches, or thinking you have a medical condition like pregnancy or schizophrenia
Contamination, a fear of things that might be dirty, or a compulsion to clean. Mental contamination involves feeling like you’ve been treated like dirt.
Symmetry and ordering, the need to have things lined up in a certain way
Ruminations and intrusive thoughts, an obsession with a line of thought. Some of these thoughts might be violent or disturbing.
Also, according to WebMD, obsessive thoughts can include:
Worries about yourself or other people getting hurt
Constant awareness of blinking, breathing, or other body sensations
Suspicion that a partner is unfaithful, with no reason to believe it
Compulsive habits can include:
Doing tasks in a specific order every time or a certain “good” number of times
Needing to count things, like steps or bottles
Fear of touching doorknobs, using public toilets, or shaking hands
My first two paragraphs of this post represent several intrusive thoughts and compulsive habits that I have on a daily basis - there are many more. My brain does not rest. It doesn't give me time to process anything. It just gives me plenty of time to worry and stress over needless details and "what-ifs."
Let's talk about coping with this stuff. Before we get into the nitty-gritty, I want you to know that you are incredibly amazing - all of you. You have come over so many things in your lives and are insanely strong, no matter what your brain tells you. You have so much power and you have so much strength. Remember that. And remember that I am here for each and every one of you. So, let's get into this. Let's cope!
Let me start by saying that I am still learning daily how to best cope with my OCD and intrusive/obsessive thoughts. This is not something that can be learned overnight, but instead by practicing daily. It will take a while, so please, don't be discouraged if these coping skills don't work immediately. Also, I am not licensed in any mental health field, so please also consider talking to a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
One of the coping skills that work best for me is grounding myself. In other words, when I notice my intrusive thoughts or OCD, I'll try to talk (out loud) to myself. Let's say, for example, I'm in the car and having constant thoughts about dying, getting into an accident, etc. I'll try to talk to myself in a positive tone like this:
"I am safe. I am in control of my car. I am going the speed limit. I am driving defensively. I am safe."
Another example is if I am washing my hands and, for whatever reason, I don't pump soap three times or get four paper towels, I will try to talk to myself in a positive tone like this:
"I am okay. The number of paper towels or soap has nothing to do with getting germs gone. I have no control if the paper towels run out. I know that I washed my hands good enough."
Yes, that probably sounds silly if someone else is in the bathroom with me. In that case, I'd tell this stuff to me in my head.
The second coping skill that works well for me is acceptance. That being, accepting that these thoughts are coming and not trying to push them away. They are unpleasant and sometimes scary, but the more that I push them away, the more persistent they can get. Acceptance is so hard. It means getting into my car in the morning and knowing that I am going to become afraid of dying on my way to work. It means starting my workday and knowing that I will be terrified about making awful mistakes and not doing my best job with my student. Acceptance can be unpleasant for a while. It's not easy to admit that you will have unwanted thoughts or compulsions every day. By being able to accept those unwanted thoughts and compulsions, you are allowing yourself to have them. This will help in eliminating that surprise when a thought or compulsion comes up. If you are expecting them, you'll be better prepared to deal with them!
Another coping skill that I use is refocusing myself. This means that when I notice my intrusive thoughts or obsessive behaviors, I redirect myself to do something else. For example, I'll occasionally push myself to take a walk, do some stretches, or do a fun activity (like coloring, geocaching, or watching a show). It sometimes is simple enough for me to just switch which website I am on. For example, social media can occasionally be a trigger for me. In that case, I'll close out of the social media and open up a new tab with either something to watch or maybe open a videogame to play. You can also mentally refocus yourself. This would be like counting in your head, naming things you see around you, saying your ABCs, etc.
I mentioned triggers during that last coping skill. Another coping skill that can help you identify your triggers is to journal! Journaling can be hard, especially when you don't have much motivation to do so. However, journaling can be a really important tool in identifying and finding patterns to your triggers. By identifying and finding patterns in your triggers, you may be able to figure out the reasons behind your intrusive thoughts and OCD. An example of journaling may look like this:
Situation? I washed my hands, but there were only three paper towels left in the dispenser - not four.
Issue? I won't be able to dry my hands properly without four paper towels.
Solution? Find a fourth paper towel.
Resolution? Went into the men's bathroom when empty and grabbed a fourth.
After you finish journaling for the day, ask yourself some questions. For example, why did these situations trigger my OCD? What would have happened if I didn't give in to those compulsions? Is there any evidence to support my fears today?
As I mentioned earlier, when you're able to identify your triggers and patterns, you can use that to develop more efficient coping skills!
While there are many coping skills that can be useful for OCD and obsessive thoughts, these are just a few of the ones that I use! In addition to these, basic coping skills such as getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and practicing other self-care skills are essential in dealing with any mental health issues!
I hope this post was of some help today! I hope you can walk away with some coping skills, as well as the knowledge that you are an incredible human being.
As always, I am here for you! Whether it be through email, social media, or chat, please reach out if you need anything or have any other requests for blog posts.
Stay Strong and Stay Safe! Love,
Aylin
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support: www.suicide.org
Lifeline Crisis Chat: https://www.contact-usa.org/chat.html
Crisis Text Line: Text REASON to 741741 (free, confidential and 24/7)
Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
Family Violence Helpline: 1-800-996-6228
Planned Parenthood Hotline: 1-800-230-PLAN (7526)
National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependency: 1-800-622-2255
The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678. Standard text messaging rates apply. Available 24/7/365. (Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning—LGBTQ—young people under 25.)
Veterans Crisis Line: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net
(The above resources are obtained from https://www.psycom.net/get-help-mental-health )
This is awesome Aylin! Thanks for going over this, very helpful!